Monday, April 30, 2012

Mom ATC #2 - Inky Oils

Today's ATC technique is one I came up with quite some time ago but it's still lots of fun cause it's another technique that you never know what you'll end up with.

I know it's going to sound weird but it's time to go pull out your baby oil...

Inky Oils
mom atc 2 - ink baby 001


Baby Oil
Re-Inkers (dye or Distress)
Scrap Papers


1. Squeeze out a dime sized puddle of baby oil onto your non-stick craft mat.

mom atc 2 - ink baby 002

2. Add one drop of re-inker to the center of the baby oil.

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3. Stir the ink into the oil.  You will notice the inks don't mix into the oil but instead form tiny dots of color in all different sizes.  This is's what you want.  Kind of like oil and water.

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4. Now dip your paper into the mix multiple times until the paper has been saturated by the oil/ink.

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And here is what your paper might look like....   It is going to be very oily so you'll want to place it on a pile of scrap paper until it drys.  Now to help speed drying you can take an old magazine or catalogue and press the paper between some of the pages.  You will notice the pages soak up quite a bit of the oil but little if any of the ink.  Move the paper to a new set of pages and press; continue until the pages don't soak up any oil.   Set the paper aside to dry for about 20 minutes or so.

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For time sake I made this sheet of paper yesterday.  It was made using Distress Ink instead of regular dye inks.   

mom atc 2 - ink baby 008

I have already prepared an ATC blank by gluing on a background of book text.  Why you might ask????

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Because now the cardstock is translucent like vellum!!!  Told you this was an awesome technique!

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Glue the inky oils cardstock to your atc and embellish as desired!

NOTE: Someone asked about adhering items to the oily paper.  You will need to use liquid glues for affixing it to your substrate as well as for gluing items to the oily papers.  The dryer type adhesives (Tombo, ATG, etc.) just don't have enough stick power like the liquid varieties.

mom atc 2 - ink baby 012

This is such a fun and addictive technique.
Sometimes I just sit and play with different ink colors and layers to see what I can come up with.
It really is so much fun and quite easy....
best part is that you end up smelling so good afterwards - LOL!!

Now it's your turn!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Mom ATC #1 - Lumiere Halo Background Technique

Since we have the tin made it's time to fill it with ATC's!

I have printed all of my sentiments and images, got them cut out and ready to go...

Mom ATC 1 001

Now I have to admit today I had so much fun playing I forgot to take pics!!

This paper was created using Jacquard's  Lumiere Halo Pink Gold (#555) metallic paint.  This stuff is awesome, it's got a dusty pink color with a pale gold shimmer mixed in.  I don't know how they do it but it's amazing. 

To create this paper I simply squeezed a small amount of the paint onto my non-stick craft mat.  I then took a damp sea sponge and pounced it into the paint. Next, dab the paint over the entire surface of cardstock.  If you want a deeper color you can continue to layer on the same or additional colors.

NOTE: The tiny bit of water in the sponge will help create the bubbly look on the cardstock. 

I wish I could somehow show you the gold shimmer hidden in the pink.  It is really stunning in person.

Mom ATC 1 002

I then added my sentiment, image and other embellishments.

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Next week we'll continue making several more ATC's to tuck into the tin...
Be sure to stop back in and see what comes next!

Have a super weekend everyone!!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

StampersBest - April New Releases!!!

Have you seen the new stamps for April over at

Be sure to use the 10% off discount -


if you decide to place an order!!

Mom Altoid Tin - Pt II

O.k... time to finish up the tin -

The first thing we need to do is to work on the back.  Lightly sand only the back (not the sides); apply a tiny amount of black paint to your finger and swipe it across the tin.  

Mom Altoid Tin II 001

Optional - I glued on 3 strips of magnets using Loctite Super Glue on the back.    It's just a different option for Mom to display it.

Mom Altoid Tin II 002

Next, trace and trim 2 background papers for the inside.  As you can tell from the photo you may need to test and trim each piece to get a nice fit inside the tin.

Mom Altoid Tin II 003

Since we'll be filling this tin with ATC's you need to keep the embellishments inside to a minimum.   For the back I added a photo of myself with a little sentiment which I then glued inside using the same technique as I shared on Tuesday....  ATG Glue & Liquid Glue combined.

Mom Altoid Tin II 004

I created a second collage for inside the lid which will give the viewer a hint about the attitude behind the ATC's inside.

Mom Altiod Tin II 002

Once I had the collages both glued in I added a touch of Cinnamon Stickles Glitter Glue to the edges of both the lid and bottom of the tin.  You need to let the glitter glue dry completely before you attempt to close it. 

Mom Altiod Tin II 003

As a final touch I took 1/4" magic tape and wrapped it around the side of the lid; peeled off the red liner and added a bit of vintage gold tinsel.  You of course don't have to use tinsel, you could use any number of fibers, ribbons, lace, or other trim you might have on hand.

Mom Altiod Tin II 004

And here the tin is hanging on one of my cabinets!

Mom Altiod Tin II 005

Now it's time to gather up your sentiments, any collage images you might want to use as well as any other embellishments you might want to use.

You can also pre-cut your ATC bases.  I like to use chipboard packaging from cereal or the like.  Now as I was cutting my backgrounds I discovered my Altoid tin is actually smaller than some of the others I have worked with in the past.  My "atc's" are going to be 2.25x3.25 instead of the full 2.5x3.5" size.  Be sure to check your tin as well ~ I'd hate for you to make all of your ATC's only to discover they don't fit into the tin!

Hope to see you tomorrow when we start working on our ATC's!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Smart A$$ Remarks & Bitchy Comments

O.k. you know I love to collect sentiments, quotes, comments and the like and I have for quite some time. 
Today I have for you another fun list that has been a constant request from readers....

Smart A$$ Remarks and Bitchy Comments

It has taken me a while to type them up and I still have some to go but at least this is a start.
Most of them are "clean" but the rest can be cleaned up as desired.  

There are some sentiments that multiple words could be substituted so I tried to add those where appropriate.  I also had several quotes, sentiments in my collection that were similar so I tried to add one version...I may have missed a couple though.

Now keep in mind some of these are a bit on the sharp don't say I didn't warn you.
I think they will be great for ATC's, Gothic Arches, Girlfriend Cards and so much more.

99% Angel, 1% “_______”.  (Fill in the blank and change the % as desired.)

A balanced diet consists of a chocolate (martini, margarita, etc.) in both hands.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A cheese cake turns to a pound cake as soon as you eat it.

A clean house is a sure sign of a deranged mind.

A clear conscious is a sure sign of a bad memory.

A cubicle is a padded cell without a door.

A day without sunshine is like night.

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

A friend for laughter; the color purple for eccentricity and a red hat for attitude.

A friend in need may turn out to be a nuisance.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…a true friend will sit there with you saying, “Damn that was fun!”

A job is nice but it interferes with my crafting.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

A little grey hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

A man without a woman is a bachelor; a woman without a man is a GENIUS!

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen…mine is delirious.

A moment on the lips…forever on the hips.

A PBS mind in an MTV world.

A real friend would help you hide the body.

A secret is something you tell everyone individually.

A simple “Yes, your majesty.” will suffice.

A snarl, a sneer, a whip that stings…these are a few of my favorite things.

A thought crossed your mind?  Must have been a long, lonely journey.

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

A woman always has the last word in an argument... Anything a man says after that is a new argument.

A woman with a big fat ass should dump him!

A woman's favorite position is CEO.

A woman’s place is in total control. Any questions?

A women’s work is never done so why bother?

Actually, I’m quite normal until I’m awake.

After a certain age if you don’t wake up aching you may be dead!

After I let myself go I may never come back!

Age is a case of mind over matter…if you don’t mind it doesn’t really matter.

Airheads have room for bigger ideas!

All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would treat the Pope.

All I want for Christmas is EVERYTHING!

All I want is an umbrella in my drink.

All I want is to prove that money can’t make me happy.

All I want is more than I’ll ever have.

All kook-ie’s aren’t found in a jar.

All men are animals but some do make good pets.

All men are idiots and I married their King!

All power corrupts but we need electricity.

All stressed out and nobody to choke.

All this and a paycheck too!

All trash, no trailer!

All work and no pay…makes a Housewife!

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you Burn!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to lazy.

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

An attitude is a terrible thing to waste!

….and then the children cleaned their room, got their mommy a drink and went straight to bed.  The End!

An expert is nothing more than an ordinary person away from home.

And then she realized they WERE all alike!

And to think I’m only using one 10th of my brain.

And which dwarf are you?

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be... ?

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

Are you sure you want to interrupt my coffee break?

As promised she served him his balls on a platter.

Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything.

Attitude is a choice!

Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

Back off! You're standing in my aura.

Be your own goddess…

Be yourself, then nobody can tell you you’re doing it wrong.

Be yourself, there are enough other people.

Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Beauty, it’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.

Because I said so!

Because I’m the mother, that’s why!

Being a lady is an attitude.

Better living through denial.

Big girls don’t cry…they get even.

Bitch – It’s not an attitude, it’s a life style.

Bite me!

Born free….now I’m expensive.

Born to be wild!

But honey, making decisions is a woman’s work.

By the time you realize your mother was right, you have a daughter who thinks you’re wrong.

Caffeine is a drug, face it ~ you’re an addict.

Can I get you some toast to go with that self-satisfied grin?

Can I retire now?

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Cancel my subscription…I don’t need your issues.

Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker.

Cash is for armatures.

Change is good.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

Cheap at twice the price!

Chocolate is a drug, face it ~ you’re an addict.

Chocolate, men, coffee… Some things are better rich!

Choosy Mom’s choose beer!

Coffee is a kick in the attitude!

Dangerously Under Medicated

“Deja Moo” The feeling you’ve heard this Bull before.

Deep down I’m a very shallow person.

Did someone say “Open-Bar”?

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Do I ever question your lifestyle?

Do I look like a f--king “people person” to you?

Do the words “gifted” and “talented” mean anything to you?

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

Do you want fries with that?

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Domestically Disabled

Don’t be so humble, you’re not all that great.

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

Don’t criticize the coffee; you may be old and weak yourself someday.

Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful; hate me because I know it.

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!

Don’t rush me; I’m waiting till the last minute.

Don’t take life too seriously, it isn’t permanent.

Don’t talk about yourself so much, we’ll do that when you leave.

Don’t think of it as loosing, think of it as being beat by a girl!

Don’t treat me any differently than you would the queen!

Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

Earth is full. Go home.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Everyone has a photographic memory….some people just don’t have any film.

Everyone is gifted, some people just open their package.

Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else.

Fashion can be bought, one must possess style.

Frugal is such an ugly word.

Funny…I don’t recall asking for your opinion.

Gee, another day in paradise.

Gene Police!  Get out of the pool!

Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish and you’ll get rid of him all weekend.

Glamour is what makes a man ask for your phone number but it’s also what makes a woman ask for the name of your dress maker.

Go braless….it pulls the wrinkles out of your face.

Good Friends are like fat thighs….they always keep in touch!

Good Friends are like stars…you can’t always see them but you know that they are always there.

Good ideas aren’t as common as stupid people think.

Guess where I’m tattooed?

Has anyone seen my hormones?

He fully appreciated the error of her ways.

He was a work in progress.

Her proudest achievement was staying blond.

Her secret ingredient…resentment.

Her secret ingredient…revenge.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

“High Maintenance” doesn’t begin to cover it.

Hmmmm, what can I buy today?

Honey, you couldn’t handle half of me!

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

Hurrah…at last I’m 30!

Hurrah…at last I’m 40!

Hurrah…at last I’m 50!

I am what I am so your approval isn’t needed.

I believe the word you’re searching for is “Beautiful”.

I believe the word you’re searching for is “Diva”.

I believe the word you’re searching for is “Queen”.

I believe we have the opportunity to make some extremely poor choices.

I can never remember which is better…. Safe? Or Sorry?

I can only please one person a day.  Today is not your day and tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

I can resist everything but temptation.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

I don’t have hot flashes; I have power surges.

I don’t have hot flashes; I have short private vacations on a tropical island.

I don’t know and I don’t care; that’s why they put me in charge!

I don’t know what your problem is but I bet it’ll be hard to pronounce.

I don’t need your attitude, I have one of my own.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I don’t suffer from stress, I’m a carrier.

I don’t want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.  (Marilyn Monroe)

I dreamed my whole house was clean.

I feel a sin coming on!

I had a perfectly wonderful day (evening, time, etc.) but this wasn’t it.

I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

I hate it when crumbs fall into your cleavage, sometimes my boobs eat more than I do.

I have one nerve left and you’re standing on it!

I have PMS and a gun….any questions?

I have so much….yet I still want more…

I have what one might call “special needs”.

I hear voices and they don’t like you.

I hope my ship comes in before the dock rots!

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I know I’m in my own little world.  It’s o.k. though….they know me there.

I know I’m not perfect but I’m so close it’s scary.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

I love not camping.

I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

I may be lost but I’m making great time!

I never admit or deny anything….it makes me more interesting.

I never forget a face but in your case I’ll make an exception.

I never have enough middle fingers.

I often say things I haven’t even thought of yet.

I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.

I plead contemporary insanity.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

I put on lipstick for this?

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

I shaved my legs for this?

I should come with a warning label.

I started out with nothing. I still have most of it left.

I taught your boyfriend that little thing you like.

I think you heard me correctly the first time.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I tried to contain myself but I escaped.

I try to live simply, but DRAMA just keeps following me around.

I wish for a world of peace, harmony, & maids.

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

I would agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.

If Barbie is so great why do you have to buy her friends?

If by happy you mean trapped with no means of escape..? Then yes, I’m happy!

If I got smart with you, how would you know?

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat (dog).

If I wasn’t so tired, I’d come over there and totally slap the crap out of you!

If life gives you lemons, make a margarita.

If life gives you lemons, stick ‘em down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

If looks could kill, women wouldn’t need frying pans.

If not for chocolate there would be no need for control top panty hose; an entire garment industry would be devastated…. We can’t let that happen now can we?

If only Monday mornings were as easy as I am.

If plan A fails remember there are 25 more letters!

If the shoe fits, buy one in every color.

If things get any worse I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.

If two wrongs don’t make a right…try three.

If you can’t be a good example then be a very scary warning!

If you can’t stand the heat come into my kitchen….It’s a pretty safe bet I won’t be cooking.

If you could read my mind I’m sure you’d be traumatized for life.

If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.

If you ever need an outfit to go with that “Stick it up your ass” attitude, give me a call.

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

If your brain were as big as your mouth then maybe we would get along.

If you’re in Hell and you’re mad at someone where do you tell them to go?

If you’re not bleeding, vomiting or on fire, chill out and stop crying.

I’ll give you a call as soon as I can remember your name.

I’ll take mind-numbing chores over a fulfilling career any day.

I’m an angel, honest.  The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.

I’m great in bed, I can sleep for days.

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

I’m not being rude, it’s just that you’re insignificant.

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

I’m not fluent in Idiot so please speak slowly.

I’m not saying we ought to misbehave but we should look like we could.

I’m not suffering from insanity…I’m enjoying every minute of it!

I’m not sure what’s wrong but I’m sure it’s your fault.

I'm not tense, just terribly  alert.

I’m not the girl your parents warned you about…they don’t have that good of an imagination.

I’m not weird, I’m just gifted.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.

I’m out of bed and I made it to my keyboard, what more do you want?

I’m so happy its “happy hour”.

I’m sorry, did I look interested?

I’m sorry; I was stuck in stupid mode.

I’m still hot…it just comes in flashes.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Imperfection is an art you seem to have mastered.

In need of a support group?  Cocktail hour with the girls!

In some cultures what I do is considered normal.

Inner beauty is for armatures.

Instant human, just add coffee (chocolate).

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Isn’t it amazing how you can hang something in your closes for a while and it shrinks two sizes?

It ain't the size that matters, it's... no, I was wrong, it IS the size.

It sure does make a long day when you get to work on time.

It takes a lot of balls to Golf the way you do!

It’s better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you aren’t.

It’s better to shine than to reflect.

It’s not that I’m not a people person, I’m just not a stupid people person.

It’s nothing personal….I treat everyone with equal disdain.

It’s o.k.….I don’t want a real life anyway.

It’s so involved being me…

It’s time for your big girl pill…

Just file it under, “Who Cares”.

Just let my conscious be our guidance.

Just pretend I care.

Just pretend I’m not here…that’s what I’m doing.

Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."

Just smile and say “Yes Mother”.

Just smile and say “Yes you’re Majesty”.

Just wanted you to know I’ve entered the “Snapdragon” stage of life…part of me has snapped and the rest of me is draggin’!

Keep your chin up…only the first 40 years of parenthood are the toughest.

Lactose is just one of the things I don’t tolerate.

Lead me not into temptation…I can find it just fine by myself.

Learn from your parent’s mistake…use birth control.

Let me show you how the guards used to do it.

Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and that really is your personality.

Let’s ignore our mother’s well-meant advice.

Let’s pretend I care.

Let’s pretend to get together soon.

Life is a journey….I’ve been driven up the wall, gone around the bend and now I’m over the hill.

Life is too short to dance with ugly men.

Light travels faster than sound….that’s why some people look smart until they speak.

Like a little cheese with your whine?

Live each moment as if your hair was on fire.

Looking for trouble? Look no further.

Love your enemies; it pisses ‘em off!

Make it idiot proof and someone will improve it.

Make mine estrogen!

Make your own damn dinner.

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

Marriage is made in Heaven…but then again so are thunder and lightning.

Martinis…they’re not just for breakfast anymore.

Maybe I want to look cheap.

Medicated & motivated.

Men are like fish ~ they get in trouble when they open their mouths!

Mirrors don’t talk and lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Mommy, I wanna grow up to be a neurotic b***h just like you.

More paperwork, please!

Motherhood, it’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.

Multi-tasking is for suckers.

My dog is smarter than your honor student.

My door is always open…so feel free to leave.

My idea of a balanced meal is a doughnut in each hand.

My inner child is a mean little bastard.

My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

My secret fantasy is having two men….one for cooking and one for cleaning.

My tastes are simple, I love only the best.

Never fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to lose.

Never go to bed angry….stay up and plot your revenge.

Next mood swing ~ 6 minutes.

Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

Now be a dear and fetch mommy her flask.

Now I understand why some animals eat their young.

Of course I don’t look busy, I did it right the first time!

Often imitated, never duplicated.

Okay, okay, I take it back! UnF--k you!

Old age doesn’t make you forgetful; having way too many stupid things to remember does!

Old enough to know better, young enough not to give a rats ass!

One of life’s little mysteries is how a 2lb. box of chocolates turns into 5lbs. on your hips.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Ooops! I spent the grocery money on shoes again!

Overweight is a condition that just snacks up on you.

People think it would be fun to be a genius but they don’t realize how hard it is putting up with idiots.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

Places to go, things to do, people to sniff.

Please call back when I give a damn.

Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.

Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

Practice safe eating….always use condiments.

Pretending to be normal all day is exhausting!

Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!

Remember when stalkers were called secret admirers?

Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today!

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Save the Earth…it’s the only planet with chocolate!

See, I told you I gave the best blow job.

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

She admired his ability to rise to the occasion.

She could see no good reason to act her age.

She couldn’t remember if it was one teaspoon of arsenic or two?

She fondly thought of him as plan B.

She had no intention of suffering alone….

She had not yet decided whether to use her powers for good…or for evil.

She kind of enjoyed working for an idiot...

She made yet another wise shopping decision.

She wanted to credit her decision with the wisdom of age …but deep down inside she knew it was because of her expensive underwear and her fabulous shoes.

She was a work in progress.

She was one cocktail away from proving his mother right!

She was one can of soup away from a nervous breakdown.

She was one frozen entree away from a nervous breakdown.

Shut ‘em up with a dose of Bitch.

Slap on a little lipstick and you’ll be fine!

Smile, it confuses people.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you’ve been up to.

So many men, such few brains!

So many stores, such little cash!

Some mistakes are too fun to make only once.

Some people say sex is better than chocolate but is sex better than chocolate AND peanut butter?

Someone called about something…

Someone has got to set the bad example.

Someone is about to get herself voted off the island.

Spit in your soup? Why on Earth would I ever do that?

Stop me before I volunteer again.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Style comes in all shapes and sizes. Therefore, the bigger you are the more style you have!

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

Support Bacteria….it’s the only culture some people have.

Surely it must be five o’clock somewhere.

Sweetie, if you’re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

Ta-Daaaaa…now let’s have a cocktail.

Take life with a pinch of salt….a wedge of lime and a shot of tequila!

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

That’s Queen B*tch to you!

The age of some women is like the speedometer on a used card…You know it’s been set back but you just don’t know how far.

The best things in life are free…with the possible exception of ____________.  (chocolate, coffee, etc.)

The key word is “alleged”.

The last think I want to do is hurt you but it’s still on the list.

The nice part of growing old in a small town is if you don’t know what you’re doing, everyone else does!

The only thing better than a friend is a friend with chocolate.

The right shoes can change your life….just look what they did for Cinderella!

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

The super girl cape is in the laundry…you’ll just have to take my word for it.

The woman who tells you her age is either too young to have anything to gain or too old to give a shit.

Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

There was nothing “passive” about her aggression.

Think of me as unexpected turbulence.

This is NOT the life I ordered!

This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

Three wise men…Who are you kidding?

‘Tis the season to be jolly but the minute it’s over I’m going back to my usual crabby self!

Today I will think evil thoughts…and try NOT to say them out loud.

Together we will own your grandparents.

Too many freaks; not enough circuses.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful! (Mae West)

Ugliness is superior to beauty because it lasts longer.

Unfortunately, some people don’t hear you until you scream.

Want some cheese with your whine?

Was it just her imagination or were all the men in her life babies?

Was she in love or was it just her allergy medication?

We all have our own baggage.

We don’t suffer fools gladly….but we do gladly make fools suffer.

Well, aren't we just a ray of f*****g sunshine?

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Well, this day was a total waste of lipstick.

We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault!

What part of “I have a headache” don’t you understand?

What’s a nice girl like me doing without a drink in her hand?

Whatever had she done…and with whom?

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

When life gives you limes, make margaritas!

Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."

Who are you calling dysfunctional?

Who said children need to eat every day?

Who wants to be a princess…. I want to be queen!

Whoever said “laughter is the best medicine” clearly never tasted scotch!

Whoever said “less is more” clearly never had enough more.

Whoever said “Size doesn’t matter.” … lied!

Wine a little and you’ll feel better.

Wow, I give birth and get to change diapers too!

Why can’t all of life’s little problems hit us when we’re teenagers and know everything?

Why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Why don’t you go Xerox your ass?

Why is it always about you?

Why were men created first? You always make a rough draft before you make the final copy.

Why yes, I am overqualified!

Why yes, I am that kind of girl.

Why yes, I’d be happy to put my needs last again!

With age comes wisdom…

Grey hair is like a silver crown…

Wrinkles are a badge of honor…REPEAT until you believe it!

Yes I’m pissed of, if people weren’t so ignorant and self-absorbed and stupid I wouldn’t be so bitchy.

You better put a condom on….if you’re going to act like a dick you might as well dress like one.

You can’t argue with a sick mind.

You can’t make an entrance if you arrive on time.

You can’t rewind life.

You know the speed of light so what’s the speed of dark?

You know you’re getting old when you need a base coat for your makeup.

You know you’re grown up when you reach for the last olive instead of the last broken cookie.

You look like crap….is that the style now?

You may touch my dust but please don’t write in it.

You mess with the kitty, you feel the claws.

You must have had an extra bowl of stupid this morning.

You obviously have no idea who you’re dealing with.

You! Off my planet!

You say I’m a Bitch like it’s a bad thing?

You were born an original, don’t die a copy.

You’ll eat it and you’ll like it!

Your book club may have scintillating discussions but my book club can drink your book club under the table.

Your boots may be made for walkin’ but mine are in case I need to kick your ass.

You’re as fake as the padded bra you’re wearing.

You’re never too old to try something stupid.

You’re only a bad girl if you get caught….that makes me a good girl right?

You’re only young once but you can be immature forever.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mom Altoid Tin - Pt. I

It's time to start our Mother's Day project for this year...
An altered Altoid (type) tin filled with ATC's.

Today we're going to start off working on the front of the tin. 

If you're recycling a tin you will need to scratch up the paint on the surface of the tin.  This will give your adhesive a tooth to hold onto.

Mom Altoid Tin 001

Next, trace out the tin on whatever you want as your background...I'm using a bit of pattern paper with a lovely vintage rose on it but you could use vintage sheet music, page from a book, a fun inky background, etc. 

Cut it out and mount it on the tin.  I like to attach mine by first applying a bit of adhesive from my ATG then trace around the outside and inside with Aleene's Fast Grab Tacky Glue.  The ATG is immediate hold while the glue is drying.   By using this method I can continue to work on the tin while the glue is drying.

Mom Altoid Tin 003

Now that the paper has been adhered, I use the sandpaper to smooth off all the excess paper.

Add a bit of ink around the edges....

Mom Altoid Tin 004

Next I inked up a few letters with Maya Mist and hit them with the heat tool to dry.  You don't have to use chipboard letters, you could use stickers, die-cuts, etc.

At this time I added a vintage woman image and then glued the letters on.

Mom Altoid Tin 005

Now begin adding your goodies...  I am using buttons and mini flowers.

Mom Altoid Tin 006

And finally I've added a few dots of Stickles Glitter Glue for a tiny bit of bling.

Mom Altoid Tin 008

I'm going to let this dry over night. 
We'll pick it up here tomorrow and finish off the tin.

I'm still working on my list of Sassy Sentiments.
Everything is taking longer than anticipated....Graber is very needy right now - LOL!!
He loves his mommy!

Monday, April 23, 2012

NEW - Mother's Day Project Supply List!!!

Hi All!

Several people have been asking for a new Mother's Day project so this week we're going to start one!

Last year we made a gothic arch book (I'll post links later) so for a change of pace I thought we'd make an altered tin we're going to fill with 10 ATC's.  I'm going to put my ATC's together as a little flip book (with a ball chain) but you could leave them separated or turn them into an accordion album.  I'll share instructions for each at the end.

First I wanted to give you the supply list so you could start gathering up a few supplies.  As always, I want you to first and foremost use what you have in your stash :)  It's nice to be able to make things with the goodies you've already bought instead of always having to go out and buy more "stuff"...

I don't have all of the techniques compiled yet but here are a few supplies for the basics and some I know we'll need along the way.

What you'll need to get started....

- Metal Altoid type tin
- Acrylic Paint
- Finger Nail Polish
- Sheet Metal - thin embossable type
- Quotes (Posted some this a.m. and will post more tomorrow)
- Woman Collage Images

Also, this is great for Mom's but it can also be used for other family members, friends or co-workers as well!

I hope you all decide to play along!

Words for Women to Live By....

You I love quotes and sentiments ~
well my Mom sent me this e-mail and I knew I had to share it!


Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
9 Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons - buy some Coronas.
12. Forget about the perfect man - he's living in San Fran with his boyfriend.
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
14. If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.
16. 'Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there'
17. 'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

New 4 Legged Friend...

Well, I had planned on sharing another technique yesterday BUT we got word that the newest member of our family was ready to be picked up...

This is Graber.....


He's 7 weeks old and a mutt.
His mom was part rat terrier and ????  His father is potentially a Jack Russell terrier.
I say potentially because the owner wasn't sure who the dad is.
He's a sweetie though.

Here he is with one of our other dogs - Cecil.

We actually picked up him and his brother yesterday.  Yes, that little bitty is from the same litter!
He was the runt while Graber was the largest of the group.


He did pretty good and slept most of the night last night with just a bit of whining...
we did get up at 4:00a.m. though so it's been a lazy day.
I'm thinkin' I may be too old for getting up in the middle of the night with a baby ;)

I'm sure it's going to be interesting here for a while,
it's been a day or two since I had to potty train...
Cecil is our baby and he's 6 years old!

Both Cecil & Fidget are getting along well with him.
Marmalade (our cat) is another story...she's mad and I think she's going to stay that way for a while.  She won't even get off the couch when he's in the room - LOL!!

Anyway, that's what I've been up to for the last couple days!
Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Smooshed Distress Stains

K - here is another one of the techniques I used on last weeks cards...

This card background ....

Was made using the following WAY easy technique....


Distress Stain
Heat Tool

1.  Squeeze out a nice puddle of ink onto one sheet of cardstock.
Smooshed Distress Stain 002

2. Cover with a second piece of cardstock and smoosh! 

Smooshed Distress Stain 003

3. Peel the papers apart ~ your paper will probably start to curl worries, we'll fix that! 

You can either squirt the paper/ink as soon as you peel it apart which is what I did for this piece of paper.  You can heat it while you're squirting the water to move the water/ink around as you like.  Makes for some really cool designs!

Smooshed Distress Stain 004


You can dry the ink almost completely then squirt with water for a nifty water mark look design.

Smooshed Distress Stain 005

You get two amazing background sheets for the work of one!  
What I love about this technique is that it is so quick and easy. 
You can take half an hour and make several sheets of background paper at once.
You wanna know the best part about this technique...they always turn out looking great! 

Smooshed Distress Stain 006

Now, it's your turn...go get inky!!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Watercolor Paper Towel Technique

Last week I shared this card....

and lots of folks asked to know what technique I used to create the background. 
I have to tell you that I discovered this technique quite by accident a few years ago.
I had been playing with some Distress Re-inkers and was cleaning up my work space.  I wiped up some of the inks with a damp paper towel and set is aside while I put a few more things away.  Well, when I went to toss the paper towel in the trash along with other garbage I noticed the cool pattern the damp towel had made on the paper...
Of course this sparked an idea and I pulled everything back out and began to experiment.

Watercolor Paper Towel Technique

watercolor paper towel technique 001 (2)


Distress Ink, Stain, or Re-Inker
Paper Towels


1. The first thing you need to do is dampen your paper towel with some water...use as much or as little as you would like.  Sometimes I get my really soaked, other times just so the entire towel is wet but not dripping.

2. Now dab a bit of ink on your work surface and wipe it up with the wet towel.
watercolor paper towel technique 002 (2)

watercolor paper towel technique 003 (2)

3. Now dab the inky towel onto your cardstock!  If you get too much of one look, re-wad the towel and pounce some more!

watercolor paper towel technique 004 (2)

 I like to use 1-3 colors per design...much more than that and the design starts to look muddy.

watercolor paper towel technique 005

And here is what it looks like using all three  of my inky paper towels...

watercolor paper towel technique 006

You can add some real interest to your finished background by squeezing out small puddles of inky water....
watercolor paper towel technique 007

then drying it immediately.

watercolor paper towel technique 008

Here are my single color  sheets....  you will notice on a couple I used more ink while the broken china I used only a small amount...

watercolor paper towel technique 009

watercolor paper towel technique 010

watercolor paper towel technique 011

You end up with some really awesome looking background papers...

watercolor paper towel technique 001

watercolor paper towel technique 002

Here are my multi color examples...

watercolor paper towel technique 012

And a couple projects putting these nifty backgrounds to use....

watercolor paper towel technique 003

watercolor paper towel technique 004

And there you go!
A really fun and oh so easy technique that
makes you and your projects look super!